Once again we come to “Talk Like Shakespeare” Day in Chicago. This time around, not only are the city literati asking us to use thee’s and thou’s where appropriate, but also to consider submitting items – by email, lamely enough – for a nascent “Blog Like Shakespeare” effort.

What, they didn’t notice last year’s interview with the Bard here on “The next miracle”?

Anyway, I got such good stuff from Will last year about current trends that I figured I ought to go back and ask a few questions related to topics that have surged into the public consciousness since his last birthday. Herewith thou shalt find a transcript:

TNM: Nice to see you again. Did you manage to take a walk through Northwestern’s Shakespeare Garden on your way over, as I suggested?

WS: Daffodils,
That come before the swallow dares, and take
The winds of March with beauty.

TNM: Yes, there are a few hanging on, even though it’s nearly May. Glad you noticed them. Anyway, today I mostly wanted to show you an iPad and get your early thoughts. So if you can hang on a second while I log into the network…

WS: That I might touch!

TNM: Well, sure…

WS (chuckling): How poor are they that hath not patience! (picking it up) I know from whence this same device proceeds.

TNM: There’s no mistaking something from Apple, is there? So many people think their products are just plain fun to use.

WS: No profit grows where is no pleasure ta’en.

TNM: I’ll remember that. Actually, I know lots of media companies that would do well to remember that. OK, let’s start your assessment with the iBooks and Kindle apps. How do you like reading your own words on something like this? By the way, Shakespeare Pro for the iPad cost me $19.99.

WS (to himself): Knowing I lov’d my books, he furnish’d me From mine own library with volumes that I prize. (aloud, after a pause) Trust not my reading, nor my observations, Which with experimental seal doth warrant the tenure of my book.

TNM: You’re not getting off that easily.

WS (reluctantly): I will hereupon confess I am in love.

TNM: You’re kidding. You like this better than a “real” book?

WS: Is this not a lamentable thing, that of the skin of an innocent lamb should be made parchment?

TNM: Actually, these days we use wood pulp.

WS: I beseech you be not so phlegmatic.

TNM: Well, I am the reporter here. You want to try something else?  The video player, maybe? (Skipping past Lady Gaga, I queue up a little Miley Cyrus.)

WS: (watching, and now beginning to talk directly to the iPad): Their images I lov’d I view in thee, and thou (all they) has all the all of me.

TNM: Hmm, maybe not the greatest idea. Want to play with Twitter? (Will shakes his head, puts down the device and backs slowly out of the room.)

WS: The time is out of joint.

TNM: See you next year?